Before you start panicking and think that I’m going to go off on a psychological rant about who I am and what my place is on this Earth…. I’m not going to do that (because well, who knows). I’m talking more about who am I on this blog?
I feel like I come off a bit wishy-washy and my blog posts are all over the place, so no one really gets what’s going on or what I’m about. If you get it, then congratulations. You’ll have to tell me how you got there and show me, because I have no freaking clue what I’m doing with this blog.
Don’t get me wrong; I love my blog. It’s been a part of my life for a very long time now and I’ve seeked solace in it many a time, but I don’t know whether my blog should be going in a certain direction.
I think I should take this chance to re-introduce myself because I’ve changed a lot since I started writing on this blog. RE: A post in 2009.
Let’s start off simply with my name. My name is Chynna. I go by Chynna Ashley on this blog but that isn’t my actual last name. I am currently 21 years old, a graduate and have no fucking clue what to do with my life. Don’t get me wrong; things are great right now – great as they can be. I have an internship, which is going really well and it’s paid. I’m getting the experience I need to further myself in the media industry. I’m actually putting my stupid degree to use. Yet, I still have no clue what I’m doing.
Lately I’ve been having these pretty vivid dreams of owning my own apartment (I partially blame Leprakhauns because he’s currently moving house and it’s making me want to move because living with my parents is not a situation I desire anymore). I want to get a stable job that pays well, so I can get my own apartment. I need space to breathe because my parents are always hovering over my shoulder. It doesn’t help that I still share a room with my sister. She’s 14 now. You can see why I need space.
My main passion is writing. Ever since I was little I’ve enjoyed writing short stories. Instead of doing the work in class, I’d be writing a story about how stupid my teachers were and creating worlds where I was the boss of them. The dream is to get published. Even if only a handful of people read my book, I would be glad and I would embrace them because they took time out of their day to read something I wrote. I just want to write to make people smile, laugh and be happy.
It’s funny how life throws curveballs at us. Did you know I originally planned to do Journalism at Coventry? I didn’t get in because I got really shitty grades, and I bombed the interview because the lady who runs the course intimidated me. I don’t take intimidation very well. Instead I was knocked onto the path of Communication, Culture and Media and I was left standing there like a baby duckling who has no clue what the fuck is going on.
Needless to say, it turned out well. I studied in China. I visited Norway. I made a small tight-knit bunch of friends for life. I had drama. I had boy-drama. I cried, I laughed, I smoked, I drank, I partied, I smiled, I kissed, and so much more throughout university that it would be stupid to say that they weren’t some good times. University changes you. It forces you to see things from other people’s perspectives. It can confuse you with its Harvard Referencing System, which you will never use again once you finish your degree.
It’s definitely made me realise that there are some things that you should just keep to yourself. There are people who you think are your friends but are really looking to backstab you (no, really). It also makes you feel safe in a bubble for 3 years. I mean it’s great; you get student loans every couple of months and then a summer job to tide you over until the next year. Suddenly, when you get to your last year everything seems to whoosh by and next thing you know you’re graduating and you’re stuck in a retail job (I was for about 4 months. It was hell on Earth).
So, who am I? I think I’m just like any other graduate who’s stuck in a sort of limbo. Finding comfort in writing is incredibly rewarding. It means I get to create award winning posts like this one here. (Joke).
I think I’m the sort of person who finds more joy in watching television in her onesie. Or curling up on the sofa with a good book and a cup of tea. Or penning dramatic fiction about the tormented soul of a girl in love. Or you know, whatever.
If that means not knowing what direction this blog will go in, then so be it. As to what I plan to do with this blog? Whatever the fuck I want. Peace out.
Did I go off on a psychological rant? I’m not sure.
Hey, you. Yeah, YOU. You should become a guest poster. I’d really like that. In fact, I’d love it.