Relationship Truths

I haven’t been completely honest.

The dating game is a hard game to play.

Some of my readers will know that I was in relationship, which has now since ended. Relationships are a funny thing. You never know if you’ve jumped in too quickly, until after it has ended. In the beginning there is always a honeymoon period and you think the sun shines out of their arse. Everything is all rosy and peachy and it feels like nothing can go wrong.

Then it does.

Relationships have always been tricky for me. I’ve never been one to hold a relationship for more than a year. I don’t know what it is or who jinxed me. I know that shouldn’t be in a hurry because I am only 23, but I feel like I am running out of time. Imagine an hourglass and you can see the sand grains passing through, but it’s going too fast and you can’t stop the grains because there’s a barrier. That’s how I feel about finding someone to spend the rest of my life with.

Let’s be honest, guys. No one wants to be alone.

I was dating someone at the start of the New Year. It was wonderful and new because he was someone I wouldn’t usually go for. He was intelligent and funny and someone I could actually hold an intellectual conversation with. He was into history, something that doesn’t really interest me… but I found myself becoming fascinated in that topic because of him. He opened my eyes to new things and a different perspective on life.

It was refreshing.

That has now since ended and although I was really upset about it, I know can always look back on it with fondness. It was really good period in my life and I can honestly say I was happy, especially after being so heartbroken over my previous relationship.

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Have you ever had someone break your heart after they have dumped you? They’ve used all the personal things you’ve opened up to them about and just used it to attack you and the only thing you can do is pretend that you’re absolutely fine with it. You’re not fine, though. It takes you by complete and utter surprise, but then not really because there were signs that they were always that kind of person. You were too in love to even notice it. 

Don’t you hate it when you introduce someone to your friends and then it f*cks up? I’m the sort of person, who if I introduce you to my friends then I know that I want this to be serious. My friends are my family and without them I wouldn’t be who I am today. When I introduce you to my friends, I’m saying, “Okay, this is it. No turning back.” It sounds like a lot of pressure, but I don’t introduce a lot of guys to my friends in all honesty. 

It’s even worst when it’s your mum and dad. Don’t even get me started on that.

I believe that everyone has soul mates. As in more than one person can be your soul mate. Someone who will come at a certain point in your life to teach you valuable lessons, and then he or she leaves just like the seasons. Eventually you will find the person that you are meant to be with, but in the meantime everything is a learning curve.

You’ll go on many dates thinking this may go somewhere, only to end up disappointed.

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This isn’t a “feel-sorry-for-Chynna-kind-of-post”. This is more of a post to just get out what has been swirling around my useless brain. I want to get back into connecting with you guys on a personal level. I feel like my blog has become a bit too brand focused for my liking – I love writing about brands, but my blog has and always will be the place where I can write my inner most thoughts. I feel like I have lost touch with the roots of my blog.

Lets turn it around.

12 Comments

  1. May 16, 2016 / 10:40 am

    I want to say sorry for visiting your blog just now. 🙁 Anyway, I liked this post because somehow it connected with me. I never had a boyfriend so I admire people like you who are brave to enter relationships. I’m a coward and I dont know when will I be ready lol. Im happy to know that you had a wonderful relationship with him even if it just ended. At least, you have memories and lessons to keep with you.

    Don’t feel like you’re running out of time, you’re only 23, you will meet a lot of guys out there.You’ll meet your soulmate at the right time and at the right place! 🙂

  2. May 16, 2016 / 11:05 am

    I love that you’re being so honest and I’m sorry that dating has been tough on you and believe it or not, I understand how you feel.

    Joshua and I dated twice. Yup. When we first met, we liked one another instantly and started dating 3 months later but his brother expressed that he felt neglected by his brother so Josh broke up with me and asked that we could be friends. Just until his brother got to know me better. (His brother still doesn’t like me.)

    We became best friends. We fell asleep on the phone and I visited often and then seven months later he asked me out again at night by the pool.

    People like to say women are complicated beings but I think men are much more hard to figure out because they can go from being perfectly happy one day and the very next day tell you that they have been unhappy and end it like its nothing.

    You’re still young and it may be hard right now but you’re way too awesome. There’s no doubt that you’re going to find your guy. I’m really proud of you for looking at this positively and taking the good from it.

    Good vibes!

  3. May 17, 2016 / 6:17 pm

    I’m sorry to hear that. 🙁 Take all the time you need to heal. Ending a relationship is hard no matter how long or short. The best you can do at this point is learn from it, and know that it doesn’t reflect on you as a person. Relationships end for many reasons, and you don’t always have control over how it happens.

    It’s tough when you’ve introduced them to everyone you know, and it happens all the time and it happens to everyone. Your family and friends will move past it, and your real friends will support you no matter what.

  4. May 18, 2016 / 7:03 am

    Sorry to hear about how your last relationship ended 🙁 Before I met my husband, my longest relationship was only 8 months. (And now we’ve been together for 10 years!) Each relationship was definitely a learning experience for me, and I can relate to feeling too in love to realize what kind of person the other really is. In one of my past relationships, I excused many of the things he did because of how much I liked him. It’s hard to see these things while you’re dating sometimes because of all the emotions.

    I like to think that everyone has soul mates too. It might take time to find them, but it’s worth taking time for!

  5. May 18, 2016 / 7:31 am

    Sorry to hear about your last relationship ending. I never wrote on the blog when I broke up with my ex, in fact I didn’t even tell my Mum. I just went into her room and told her I was off on a date with someone else and she was like ‘don’t be silly, you and ex are still together’. Probably not the best way to tell your mum that your previous relationship has ended!

    I’m the opposite to you, as I’ve only had two long relationships. I introduced Andy to my friends after 4 days together and they were all like ‘don’t you think it’s a bit early for that?’ Haha.

    I understand the pressure to find someone as well, but it shouldn’t be like that. In my previous relationship I was so terrified of being single that I forgave a lot of stuff, even though I wasn’t happy about it. But I shouldn’t have been. It’s more important to be happy than coupled-up in my opinion.

    Really enjoyed this post!
    Xx

  6. May 18, 2016 / 9:41 pm

    Relationships are indeed tricky, but it helps us discover things about ourselves. You know what? You’re too good for most guys anyways. Gotta get yourself a good one. It’s hard when we cling on to people and it doesn’t work out at the end. Before, I would cling on to guys before the relationship stars and ruin everything @___@. Because of that, I learned to back off. Keep on venturing, you’ll find that knight in the near future!~

  7. May 19, 2016 / 10:25 am

    I’m so sorry to hear that dating is hard on you 🙁 I do hope that you’ll meet your Mr Right soon. Just know when to say sayonara to a guy who’s not right for you as Nancy has stated. Nothing pains me more when I see friends in abusive relationships!

    Dating for me is a non-existent concept. I’ve only had one boyfriend, and that only lasted a couple of weeks or months depending on how you define it LOL. That was when I was 18. I’ve not dated at all since. I’ll admit, I’m socially awkward to some point, and getting close to guys post-secondary school just kind of scares me. I’m good with being friends with blokes, but in a relationship or dating-wise? I can’t seem to do it.

  8. May 19, 2016 / 7:41 pm

    I know what you mean with wanting to be more personal on your blog. Been trying to do the same.

    Relationships are tricky. All relationships are. Even unromantic ones.

    I’ve had a few online ones, and dated a guy offline, but honestly haven’t been in serious relationship for a long time. Honestly it can be hard to meet people.

  9. May 19, 2016 / 11:56 pm

    Such a deep post Chynna! I’m with you on the relationship drama, I feel like every relationship will always have their ups and downs and some will work out right to the end and some won’t, but when they don’t, it’s not just a matter of sitting and sulking through what could’ve been, but instead taking what you’ve learned from it and using it when love comes around again. And not to go all like Beyonce on you, but people will come and go, but no matter, you should never forget your independence and the idea that as much as you want others to love you, you gotta love yourself first *sips lemonade* lol

  10. May 22, 2016 / 12:10 am

    I wish I could give you such a warm hug right now Chynna. I’m so sorry to hear about this. Relationships suck. Before my current relationship, I was heartbroken by a guy who I honestly thought was my soulmate and the guy I was going to be with for a really long time – it was two years for goodness sake! But it ended messily, I was made fun of by him. It was horrible. I opened up and he took all that information and continuously stabbed me with it with everyone to see. I was heartbroken and shocked that he could do such a thing, someone I trusted.

    Ever since then I’ve been careful with relationships and for me, a great relationship always happens or happened to me and my friends when we’re not looking. He just sort of appeared one day. And I’m sure you’ll have the same. Youre 23 sweetheart, there’s lots of time and lots of guys and lots of opportunities!

    Don’t forget we love you, I love you! Always here if you want to talk to anyone <3 I know I got over my bad relationships just talking about it and letting it out until he became totally irrelevant.

  11. May 22, 2016 / 7:26 am

    If anyone does that to you, then they are jerks and not the person you thought they were, especially if they use personal information you gave them in confidence, and then use it to hurt you with. Fuck ’em, seriously. If it gets too bad, then there are steps that can be taken. I would never want you to go on their path regardless of what they do to you, because you’re better than them.

    I’m sorry that your latest relationship didn’t work out, but it doesn’t mean it’s over entirely. I’m sorry that they hurt more after they broke up with you. It isn’t fair that some people do this.

    My last relationship before my husband was a mess, and I won’t go into the details, but our first real break up was my fault. I broke the trust, but regardless, I realized we were better off as friends and that was fine. He treated me like shit, but eventually realized and manned up by apologizing for his behavior. It didn’t make it right, but at least he apologized and tried to make it right.

    Hugs.

    I’m here if you need someone. This is your blog, get as personal as you want, no one will judge you for it.

  12. May 26, 2016 / 11:38 am

    Thank you for opening up, love. We all go through rough times in relationships. I am sorry that yours ended. Sometimes our trust can be broken, sometimes people continue to hurt beyond the end of the relationship. I also have the same feeling that things are serious once you get to know my friends, my family. I put a lot of trust in people who then humiliated me with the information I trusted them with.

    Over time we learn, and we know quicker, faster, who is better for us. We can tell when someone is bad news and we become closer to finding that person who is ‘The One’. I was in a relationship where I let the person take advantage of me because I had strong feelings for them, but I had to step away and learn from that – find someone who was right for me.

    We learn from a lot of our relationships. I hope your next one is only better than the last. And until then, enjoy being you, enjoy your company and being with your girlfriends and family. If there is any advice I can offer, it’s that – this is coming from someone who used to do nothing but get upset over her exboyfriends and cry and not enjoy the single life 😉 <3

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